Weekend in review

For the last year I’ve been fairly anxious while anticipating the role of Maid-of-Honor at my sister Christie’s wedding. The wedding occurred last Saturday (and it was amazing by the way) but during the year leading up to the event, I prepared very little to play the role. It was only the weekend before that I went to Barnes and Noble to read selections from the “how to be a good bridesmaid” collection. I took notes on the back of a receipt. I was most interested in “tips for writing a fabulous toast”. I noted: don’t try to be clever or amusing, just speak from the heart. Eventually it came easy, I never wrote it down. I said something like this during the toast:

“Christie, I can’t believe we both ended up in the South. I am very glad that we landed within a few hours drive of one another, and that meant I could get to know you and Ryan during the last year. I am very pleased that you found a good Southern gentleman to love and support you. I remember the first time I drove down from Tennessee to see you, met Ryan for the first time, and saw the suburban cottage you share. I remember the three of us sitting on the couch together, and I noticed you two were doing more than finishing eachother’s sentences, you weren’t even talking but you were communicating on some invisible wavelength. I thought it was weird. And, I thought it was magical and that you two were a perfect match. Christie and I have a small little family, and we are all very blessed to feel part of Ryan’s extended family. On behalf of this new family and all of your friends here, we wish you all the best and we love you. Cheers!”

My Dad’s toast was spectacular and so very sweet. Embellished by a soft tone and thick Hungarian accent, it went something like this:

“I am a simple man and not a public speaker. When Christie was young I called her my little lady bug and my little princess. I am so proud of her for making it through Medical School on her own. I have not prayed before, but tonight I will pray to God that Ryan will take care of my little princess, and that together they will be eternally happy.”

Like I said, the wedding ceremony was amazing but not without theatrics. The drama was the weather fortunately and was not related to me or any family members. During the ceremony, the thunder was cracking over our heads and the garden, in the opening of the tree canopy. The wind was blowing and the leaves, wet from an earlier downpour, were flaking drops of moisture onto the wedding party and onto the stringed instruments of the quartet. At one point the viola player stormed off, spouting this is a something-or-other “thousand dollar instrument, I am not going to get it ruined”. The wedding planner whisked her back to her seat, just in time to play the recessional.

The reception, with all it’s food and dancing, were clearly the highlight of a very long wedding extravaganza weekend. We ate lobster breoche, scallops wrapped in bacon, asparagus, and excellent white cake with strawberries. I drank a Bud Lite, just to keep it real. I also drank an apple martini, white wine, and lots of coffee – with real whip cream and chocolate shavings. I found comfort at the chocolate fountain for awhile too. After stuffing my face, I hit the dance floor to sweat and grind off the calories and the stress. Daddio danced all night (and is still sore after two days after the fact). Angela, Tony, and I never missed a dance. Christie’s friends, especially, Rahat, Val, Tara, and Aaron kicked it too. The dance floor was full and we rocked it to Pour Some Sugar on Me and Livin’ on a Prayer. Oh yeah, Jersey-style, keepin’ it real.

Some of the loveliest moments of the weekend included getting to know Christie’s friends. They are really cool, I must give my sister more credit. Granted some of the time was spent reliving med school drama but I learned a lot too. I learned that I should take a Zantax before drinking in the sun, then I won’t get so red. Two of her friend’s from her undergrad, Tara and Aaron, are getting married in Manhattan this fall and Tony, Ang, and I are planning on crashing their wedding. It will be a traditional Thai wedding. Tara and Aaron feel like old friends, even Daddio felt that way. Daddio had a wonderful time asking Christie’s friends all about their parents. You see, almost all of Christie’s med school friends are first generation Americans. She has friends whose parents are Jamaican, Philipino, Pakistani, Indian, Thai, and African-American. Her side of the aisle was definitely a cultural mixing pot.

The bouquet toss was also a memorable moment. There was no doubt that the bouquet was going to me, and Christie made the perfect toss right in to my cupped hands. One of Ryan’s aunts wants me to meet (maybe marry) one of her sons, so maybe the fact that I caught the bouquet is a sign that I’ll marry soon. Whoa. Ryan’s aunt is not kidding though and she invited me to the next family reunion to be held in Louisiana. I told her that her son must be willing to move to Tennessee because I will no longer don the GU relationship crown.

Lessons learned during the weekend:
It is possible to transform a granola girl’s appearance to that of a southern belle in one hour and for only $55. Yup, I have acrylic nails in a French manicure. I even got a pedicure and an unenvied woman picked at and painted my toenails pink. In just a few days I am convinced that men like the fake nails… are they more appealing because they look so feminine? Let me tell you, they are not practical. Try typing, for instance. I can’t hit any qwertyuiop without hitting an adjacent qwertyuiop. Wiping is also difficult but I won’t elaborate. On the plus side, it is easier to pick the ticks off Buksi’s eyelids and Momo seems to enjoy the massaging touch of finger nails. A makeup consultation with an Aveda rep also transformed me. I looked like a cover model before I left the salon. Then I stepped outside in the Georgia heat and belting sun, and the foundation and mascara bled down my face. I scored some loot from the Aveda lady, a light and neutral lipstick, but I lost it in about 5 hours. So long to Aurora, the southern belle – this is a perfect segway to the second lesson…. which is…. that at my wedding I will not spend a lot of money on food and frills. I will be serving tree bark and granola. The main course will be whatever you bring… I will ask that you bring a piece of roadkill from where you came, and together we’ll make a roadkill stew. I will not have programs or invitations because I prefer to save trees. We might sit on haybales instead of chairs or pews, and heck there won’t even be a wedding. I prefer a commitment ceremony so I don’t have to sign any papers, and I get to keep all my stuff if we split up. I won’t inherit my partner’s debt either. Great, because I’ve got enough of my own. The reception will be fabulous, but I haven’t sorted out the details. If you are reading this, you’ll probably be invited so I can’t spoil the surprise. Of course, it remains to be seen when this fabulous commitment ceremony party will take place so I could also change my mind about this before then too.

Yesterday I spent a few hours with Angela doing some retail therapy. We spent a good half-hour in the greeting card department. There are a lot of good greeting cards out there these days, and if you want to feel good about yourself, go read some reading cards. You’ll get a good laugh. They will help you get your head on right, for free. I stole this sentiment from a greeting card: In the end the memories that last are the good things, and the things that bring us joy aren’t things anyway. That is the ultimate lesson I learned last weekend.